WHAT MY COLLEGE EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN LIKE!!!!!!

So everybody has a different experience and journey. I spent 5 years-in undergrad and went through what seemed like a roller coaster of emotions and experiences. If you think that you just haveee to do college in 4 years, think again. That shit is for the unicorns. So I started my college career off at Central Michigan University because I received a scholarship and woo let me tell you that time of my life was like a reality TV show. Love and hiphop college edition you feel me. I only spent one year there before transitioning to Michigan State University (thank God) I went off to college expecting to fit in make lots of friends and party it up plus flirt with the boys you feel me. It was more of a social experience than an academic one. And let me tell you what a time. I learned that people are fake, black people dont consider me black ( I’m a black kid from a rich suburb with a white momma) and I discovered what a fu*k boy is. The last thing I did was fit in, it was more like stand out. And no offense to anybody who attends that school but I did not learn one thing school wise I mean to be honest it was easier than my high school and like super ratchet. So basically all I did was party and get drunk every single day. I didnt acquire any true real friendships but instead came to find out that who I thought were my friends were really my enemies. From roommate problems to identity issues I guess you can say I was having trouble finding myself. I was super sheltered in highschool and didn’t really party, go to parties, have a boyfriend, etc. I had a tight knit clique of friends (who I remain friends with to this day) and we did our own thing. So coming to college was like girl gone wild you feel me. Free at last. I can do whatever I want, wear whatever I want( I literally was not allowed to wear leggings or yoga pants in High School), act however I want. It all came back to bite me in the ass. So word of advice- dont forget who you are or where you come from when you first go off to college. Have fun but not too much fun. Trust no one. You are just getting to meet these hoes. And remember that the guys consider you fresh meat so beware little ones. So moving on to sophomore year I am a new student at Michigan State University and omg my sophomore year was the time of my life. I claimed my major as biomedical laboratory sciences but was still a giant social butterfly and partier. I made friends and all we ever did was have fun, hang out every day, go on dummy missions, party, and crack up laughing. It was super fun and I realized how much better Michigan state is than Central. Sorry Chippewas but, y’all wack. But I still wasn’t super invested in my academics. I managed to get good grades and pass all my classes but it was not the best I could do. I was distracted by the fascination of this life of freedom and attention I had never known. So flash forward our clique goes on spring break in florida together and by the time the school year is over relationships are broken, girls side with sides, and it wasnt the same. Junior year comes around and I am still blossoming and super self absorbed. I mean I think I am the shit. I was super into makeup and fashion (not gonna lie I was working it with the looks and was super pretty) and me and my best friend from the previous year get our first apartment together. That was one giant party and I was still wild and doing the most. I dont think I really ever matured until my last year of college (but more on that later) so life is good, me and my homegirl are getting the hoes, our make up is on fleek, hair on slay, outfits on damn girl, and bodies on flawless. I mean we were instagram ready you feel me (instagram is so lame and not apart of the real world so I would advise to pursue a real career and not one in “instgram modeling” or instagram businesses. Like get your college degree- instagram is so fake) We thought we ran that school. Literally people called me the celebrity on campus. But low and behold it doesnt last very long and our friendship blows up in our face and was never the same. I mean we were like attached at the hip. The bestest of friends. But shit happened and that ended. So here comes the metamorphism. I get this grand God given idea to take up figure skating again. Which was my passion as a young girl but I was forced to quit and broken hearted from it so I never spoke of, watched, or touched the ice again. Like my family was banned of ever mentioning it to me(…. until 9 years later…. )It was completely closed off from my heart and mind with a giant lock and chain across it saying do not access. I mean I was angry- furious, broken hearted. Something that was apart of me was ripped from my soul and I was a bitter bitch about it. Imagine losing the love of your life. Well figure skating was mine. The last time I skated I was 12. I was 21 when I first stepped foot on the ice again. But wait theres more! I tried out for Michigan State’s synchronized skating team. And I made it! Like can you imagine that. God had a plan and He was not letting me walk away from it. My first 3 years of college I was really lost, far away from God and trying to find myself. But I kind of left God out of the picture. Yes of course I still believed in Him and loved Him but he was way in the back of my mind and I wasnt living a very good life. Normal for a college student, but I needed to put God back to being first in my life. I struggled a lot. I still do. With anxiety and depression. But I wouldn’t be able to get through it and get out of bed every day if I didnt put God back into my life. So He gave me skating back to cope and bring joy back into my soul. Senior year comes along and I am back training and skating with people who have been skating their whole lives, skated on Team USA and are just amaze balls ok. So it took me a while to catch back up. Let me tell you. IT WAS HARD. But I loved it and I loved the relationships Inmade. However, that year I gained a ton of weight. You would think I would lose weight with all that crazy exercise but I was going through things. I wasn’t eating right in-fact the only thing I ate was bagels and pasta and the occasional fruit. I lived in this nasty apartment because my room mates were triffeling. I was really not in a good living situation at all. Like at all. It was awful but when youre broke in college you dont have much option. I struggled with my reality and the reality of my peers and it brought me down. My whole life nothing has been easy for me. Everything is a fight. All I know is fight. And let me tell you, if I wasn’t a fighter I would not be here today. So the skating season ends and I fall into this deep depression. I really cant tell you spot on why but there are many reasons and college is hard despite the academic part. I literally slept til 5 pm everyday and would not get out of bed. Like it was sooo hard to get out of bed and all I would do was cry. Like just lay in my bed and weep while holding my cat like she could solve all my problems. It got so bad that I stopped going to class and I failed two classes. I have never failed a class in my life. Being outside or just leaving my apartment would bring me extreme discomfort, anxiety, and emotional pain. Who had once been this sexy confident soul was now fat, ugly, had no confidence, and was defeated. And yes I was fat. I still am recovering and trying to shed that weight off to be honest. And it doesnt help when you already had body issues to begin with. But I was so sad and stressed that my body just held on to fat and would not let it go. It was really a dark time in my life and in college. I remember one day my mom had phoned me and I just could not hold in my secret anymore. The sound of her voice just compelled me to start balling over the phone and I told her about my issues. It was like I didn’t see in color anymore. I felt like a zombie. I felt like the world was going but I was not and I was just stuck in the middle of everybody moving around and living their lives and watching. I isolated myself and did not pursue friendships or anything really. I just laid in my bed like a drone and wished that I could just stay asleep the rest of my life so that i didnt have to face reality. So fast forward I decide to turn to God, Jesus, family, skating, books, animals, my spirituality, painting; anything that would make me happy and feel like I’m living. Cause I did not feel like a living being. And I just held onto Jesus for dear life and He is the one who got me through and spoke to me. He told me not to worry and to cast my anxieties upon Him. He brought me great comfort and my life started to change. So fast forward to my last year of college- (thank God) I meet my sweet boyfriend, move into a beautiful apartment with no roommates, quit my job, and focused completely and wholeheartedly on school and my skating.
My grades literally improved so much along with my skating and I was happy. I am happy. I still have my moments of dealing with major anxiety and high stress but I feel like I have my depression under control for the most part. I graduated last weekend from Michigan State University and couldn’t be more grateful to God for bringing me through. College was rough, my major was stupidly hard, and my classes were no walk in the park. While others were out partying I was studying. I went from having thee social life to no social life. I feel like I finally have mastered the art of studying and I am ready to start the next chapter of my life. Which is going to medical school to become a pediatrician. My college experience was tough, but it made me stronger and more resilient and determined than ever. It has made me more prepared for tough times to come and prepared me with mental toughness that is needed in medical school. My experience has made me chase happiness and chase after my dreams. Despite what happens know that life is a journey but you have control over your own choices and mentality so make good ones and stay level headed. And stay close to God because He is the one who will hold you up when you can’t hold yourself up. I still have issues but I am working through them and growing everyday. These times are meant to learn from. College is so much more than going to class. You are going to experience so many things and have some hard times. Everyone’s  journey is different but thats what makes it special and that piece of paper called a DEGREE feels so much sweeter when you obtain it after all that adversity that waa shoved in your face that you had no idea of coming. I never would have imagined my college experience to be what it was as a senior in High School. Never give up on your dreams and never give up on yourself. When one door closes, another door opens. Know that despite what rocks are thrown at you that you have the power to dodge them and to heal from them. Life is messy. Its a roller coaster, but roller coasters are fun right? You can do whatever you put your mind to! It is just you yourself and you in this world. And God. So lean on Him and believe in yourself. Do whatever you can to have joy and inner peace. Chase sunshine!

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Are you Questioning your FAITH because of certain bad events that have happened to you in your life? If so, READ THIS!!!

Hello Beautiful Souls!
I know I have been absent from blogging for quite some time as I have been super busy with my senior year of college but this topic has been resting on my heart and I just had to write about it!! I have had numerous people; friends, colleagues, associates, express their disbelief in God because of certain things that have happened to them in their life that aren’t sugar and sunshine let’s say. I remember sitting down with some mates having a heart to heart and one girl told me she didn’t believe in God anymore because of her “bad life” and bad things that have happened to her. I remember my 7th grade teacher telling our class she lost her faith because of the passing of her father. I remember many more incidents like this of people telling me this and now I finally have the perfect answer the next time someone comes to me with this nonsense.

When my friend told me that she no longer believed in God because of bad things that have happened in her life I told her: Girlfriend, do you really think that if Jesus died on the cross for your sins, literally was betrayed by his people and NAILED to a cross to hang there and die with a crown of thorns crushing his head, had to carry the giant cross on his BACK to the top of a giant mountain along the way with people spitting in his face and those same people spitting in his face, those same people who nailed him to the cross, you, me, he DIED FOR. TO SAVE THEM! Do you really think that if Jesus went through all of that, that YOU are never going to have to experience hardships in your life? You think that life is supposed to be one big picnic and that nothing bad is ever going to happen to you your whole time being here? Do you think that anybody lives a life like that? Cause if so you got it seriously twisted sister. I mean JESUS himself didn’t even live that kind of life so I don’t know why you think you can. I mean those things that you went through was for a purpose. And then get this! I then said to her. So you don’t believe in God cause you had to once wash your dishes in a bathtub? Look where you are right now. A pre medical student at MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY. YOU ARE ON THE SKATING TEAM. Somehow, you have been able to make those monthly payments to even be on this team doing what you love to do. You have the knowledge to be a college student and yet a premedical college student! You have a roof over your head every night, food to eat everyday, and a mother to come support you and watch you skate yet you tell me that you don’t believe in God? because of bad things that have happened to you? well honey bad things happen to everybody- that’s just life. but look at all the things God has done for you now! and yet you still spit in his face with this blasphemy you tell me. How dare you. and I think she seriously thought about how silly she sounded and I only hope she reevaluated her life.

I mean terrible things have happened to me. Terrible things that I don’t even want to talk about. But GOD has brought me out of all those things. GOD didn’t let me fall. GOD didn’t let me live that life for the rest of eternity. GOD redeemed me. GOD saved me. GOD held me up when nobody else would. Nobody has a perfect life. EVERYBODY has something they went through in the past, are going through in the present, or are going to go through in the future. But GOD heals all wounds. GOD doesn’t put anymore on you than you can handle.

So my dears, are YOU struggling with your faith just like these beautiful lost souls because of something that happened in your past, or something that you are going through right now?

Well I’m here to clarify things for you and to tell you DO YOU REALLY THINK that bad things aren’t supposed to happen to you? DO YOU REALLY THINK that you are going to breeze through life and the whole time it is going to be sunshine, rainbows, and lollipops? DO YOU REALLY THINK that you will never have to experience some type of trial or tribulation in your life? DO YOU REALLY THINK that life is meant to be perfect? I mean we are not perfect so why is life supposed to be perfect? DO YOU REALLY THINK that nobody in this world other than yourself has ever had something bad happen to them?

Cause if you do you seriously got it twisted sister. Life is NOT perfect. Bad things do happen. Bad things are going to happen. Bad things happen to everybody. Nobody has a perfect life or has never experienced anything heartbreaking or bad before. EVERYBODY has gone through some type of tribulation or trial in their life and if it hasn’t happened to you yet it surely will. and bad things are not meant to break us and for sure not break our faith- they are meant to build us up and make us stronger and better people with greater characters for it! IT BUILDS CHARACTER. and it is MEANT to bring us closer to God. When we go through things or bad times, WE ARE NOT going through them alone. We have God here to help us and guide us along the way. God never puts anymore on you than you can handle. Think about life of people WITHOUT God, SOULS lacking God. That has got to be an ugly place. because you can tell the ones that don’t have God in their life or who have fallen short of his Glory and need to be put through some events to make their character good again. The world is an ugly place because  a lot of people lack faith and God and LOVE. With God there is Love and with love is a better world. I mean all the world needs is love right? Take one moment to reflect on your life. Are you living a life of God? Do you have the holy spirit living in you? because if not you probably will notice some gloomy times and dark places within your soul. If you look in your soul and see the Holy spirit there then you are also going to see sunshine and smiles and see how God worked in your life and inside of you to make you a better person and made things happen for you in your life. I mean I am a living example of that and I know many of you are as well. God is real and his power is strong. Just because something  bad happened to you or something bad happened in the World does not mean He is a myth. He is very real and can and will change your life. How do you want him to work in you and your life? Take a moment to get closer to Jesus and closer to God so that you can now see with clear eyes and walk with a brighter soul. Just because it is raining now doens’t mean a sunshine and rainbows aren’t in your next few chapters!

“The fear of  man bringeth a snare: but who so putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe.”

  • Proverbs 29: 25

“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”

  • Deuteronomy 31:6

God will not forsake you or leave you, He is always with you, and though you will go through hard times, God will take you past those hard times and bring you to good ones!

With all of the bad things that are happening in the world, God says he will protect you if you merely believe in him.

Now you have every right to be angry with whatever has happened to you, but do not put that anger in the Lord because he is the One who will bring you through!

-and who did bring my friend through whether she realized it or not.

Count your blessings and keep your faith strong no matter what adversity you may face; because my dear, you will face it; but with God on your side you will not face it alone! You will win whatever battles you are fighting when you have God on your side to fight them with you! Take strength in the Lord! and as Kirk Franklin always said, IT’S GONNA BE A BRIGHTER DAY!

Thank you my loves for reading this excerpt and I hope that it has changed your perspective at least just a smidge, helped you, and that you continue to walk with Jesus despite what you are walking through! and ALWAYS remember,

JESUS LOVES YOU!

 

 

BIBLE VERSE OF THE WEEK

“But he said to me, my grace is sufficient in you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christs’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

~ II Corinthians 12:9-11

Wow. What a powerful verse. It is within our weaknesses, that God makes us STRONG. The challenges that we face are there for a reason because it is in those hard times that God wants us to lean on him for strength; and that he will give us. Think about this in the aspect of weight lifting. People lift heavy weights to get stronger. Lifting weights builds us more muscle, thus making us stronger and able to lift even heavier and heavier weights. When God puts the weight of a burden on us, it is not meant to break us down but to build us up. God is conditioning us to be stronger and better.

Why Believing in yourself gets you Places

Believing in yourself makes the dream work. You can do anything your heart desires. It doesn’t matter how many obstacles are standing in your way or how big, small, old, young, or smart you are. It doesn’t matter how many people tell you you cant accomplish your dreams and that you should quit and do something else or how many people criticize you along the way. Success first starts with believing in yourself. Success is like a recipe. The recipe is the idea, and the ingredients are will power, determination, faith, and hard work. Mix it up and throw it in the oven and wallah! It’s a recipe for Success. You will reach your goals! Everybody’s path to success is different. One person’s story is not the same as another. So just because you see someone doing one thing, doesn’t mean that you should be doing the same thing as them. For example, did you know that Kevin Hart had one of the biggest names in comedy tell him that he wasn’t funny and that he should give up and start a completely whole new career?  Did you know that Kevin Hart had to drive to New York from Philadelphia every single day to pursue a career in comedy and sometimes didn’t even have a way to get there and sometimes wouldn’t even make a dime that night? But Kevin Hart had one dream in mind. He didn’t let any of these things hold him back from his goal. Why? Because he believed in himself! He never once listened to the people along the way criticizing him and telling him he should quit. He believed in himself and through will power, determination, faith, and hard work; wallah! he came up with Success! and that’s what its all about. believing in yourself! Don’t give up on your dreams. Stick with it. You will see progress, you will get a breakthrough, and you will see success!

BIBLE VERSE OF THE WEEK

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

-Matthew 11:28

God gives rest to the hard working. All you have to do is go to Him. Where there is God there is peace and rest.

 

What you pretend, becomes reality.

Please read this amazing and deep post by “Oaktown Vibes”. There is a great message here!

Genius Unbound

If you don’t like where you are in life, simply change it. At any moment in time, you can decide that this is not how your story will go and its truthfully just as simple as that. As adults we have grown out of one talent that is the key to our transformation…playing “pretend.”

What I love about children is that they have no ceilings, the moment that they make their mind up about becoming or doing something, they never give up until they find a way to make it work. Over time as we have grown older, we have allowed the opinions of friends and loved ones to dictate our limits. Our minds have been conditioned by society’s view of what its acceptable. We have been duped into being more scared of what someone will think and say, more than we want to pursue what we love.

Now that we know this, we must stop…

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Just Keep Swimming.

Having faith when you feel like you’re going in circles.

“Just Keep Swimming”- a saying made popular by the movie Finding Nemo that has extreme importance in our everyday lives and our walk with Jesus. Do you ever feel like you’re getting stuck in a routine, or you try and try to close a deal but just can’t make something shake, or like all your efforts to achieve something fall through? Sometimes we may feel as if our lives are spinning and not getting anywhere. It’s easy to lose our passion and get discouraged. What do we do when we feel this way? Just keep swimming! Stick to the routine you are in. When God says the time is right, He will provide a breakthrough for you. I recently was listening to a sermon by Joel Olsteen on TV; it really spoke to me. He said to have faith in the routine. Have faith in God. Be faithful when nothing new is happening. You’re working hard but not getting the credit, have faith in the routine; keep working hard. Keep doing the same thing you have been doing. You must trust God and stay passionate when you feel like you’re going in circles. Why? Because your character and spiritual muscles are developing. You are being prepared for where God is taking you. This is your training time. Routine may not be exciting, but it is necessary. You need to be your best every day and on every ordinary day. David was anointed to be King as a young man, then God sent him back to the shepherd fields. He had a King’s anointing, yet was taking care of sheep day in and day out. David was faithful in the routine; if he had not passed this test, he would not have become King. 13 years later, King David suddenly took the throne. Passing the test in ordinary days leads to extraordinary days. Being faithful in the routine is what prepares you for promotion.

WHEN YOU ARE FAITHFUL IN THE ROUTINE GOD WILL MAKE THINGS HAPPEN that you couldn’t make happen. God is closely watching you. He sees your hard work. He acknowledges your hard work. That fire ignited in your soul that you call your passion, your life calling, God implanted that in you and God will see to it that you get to it. Your time is coming; suddenly, unexpectedly. Ordinary days will be turned to extraordinary days. God has explosive blessings for you and He will get you to where you are supposed to be. For example, the story of Jericho in the Bible was a test. When Joshua was leading the Israelites towards the promised land, they came to the city of Jericho but couldn’t get past the walls. God told Joshua to have them march around the city in circles. They literally were walking in circles for days around Jericho. They didn’t know why but they had faith in God and on the 7th day, suddenly amidst walking in circles and blowing their trumpets, the walls collapsed. A great miracle. God will collapse walls for you too, you just have to trust in Him. Trust God when you are going in circles. Do the right thing when it just seems ordinary. Why aren’t you making any progress? It is a TEST. God is testing you and preparing you. Keep being faithful where you are and those walls will come down and doors will open. I know a woman who worked as a janitor in a hospital and is now running the hospital. She is the head of the hospital, the doctors take orders from her!! No bad break can stop what God has ordained for you. No person can discourage you. Disappointment and betrayals are apart of God’s plan to push us into our purpose. When things feel like they’re spinning out of control, they are spinning IN control. Sometimes buildings need to be torn down to make a new and better building. God is renovating you. He won’t allow the spinning unless it ultimately leads to your advantage. Trust Him in your spinning. God says “Never will I leave you or forsake you” Hebrews 13:5 God says “Do not be afraid for I am with you” Isiah 41:10 God says “Do not worry”. Mark 6:25-34. So why do we worry, why do we get anxiety, self doubt, why do we become afraid? God always has our backs, He wants us to TRUST in Him. Trust Him in your spinning, trust Him when you don’t feel encouraged. The right people are going to find you. Promotion is going to track you down. When you are faithful in the ordinary, God will make you extraordinary. God saves the best for last so just keep swimming, eventually you will reach your God ordained destination.

 

Chasing Sunshine

Must Reads

Your Beautiful Purpose by Susie Larson.

your beautiful purpose

This book awakens the spirit within. Susie Larson uses the power of God and the Word along with personal stories to show us we all have a purpose and how to find and follow that purpose. This book is inspirational and once you open this book you won’t want to put it down. This book is a definite must read and will you help you get closer to God.